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Dark Matter meets Girl, Interrupted in this gripping psychological thriller about a young woman teetering on the edge of reality.

Forced institutionalization, attempted sexual assault.

Virginia, 1954. When a woman wakes on a patient transport bus arriving at Hanover State Psychiatric Hospital, she remembers nothing of her life before that moment, none of the dark things she must’ve seen and done that forged her into the skillful and cunning fighter she is. Doctors tell her she’s Dorothy Frasier, a paranoid schizophrenic, committed for her violent delusions. She’s certain they’re wrong—until disturbing visions of a dystopian future in which frantic scientists urge her to complete “the mission” and save mankind begin to invade her reality.

Believing it’s Hanover causing the hallucinations, she tells no one and focuses only on escaping—until there’s a visitor. A man whose loving face—and touch—she remembers, a man who knows all about her visions, because he’s spent years helping her cope with them: her husband, Paul Frasier.

Now she’s sure of nothing, caught between two realities. Believe in the future, and she might save the world. Believe in her husband and doctors’ plans for her treatment, and she might save herself. She needs answers, but to get them she’ll have to harness the darkness inside her as she risks her freedom, her mind, and ultimately her life in a heart-stopping quest for the truth.

Don't just take our word for it...

“A truly spectacular psychological thriller about memory and identity that will absolutely blow your mind. With twists, turns and a premise to die for – stop what you’re doing now and read this book!”
– Matthew Blake, International bestselling author of Anna O

“In her debut novel, Pace asks intriguing questions about the nature of reality. Mixing elements of dystopia with feminist historical fiction, Pace creates a winning psychological thriller that will have readers eagerly turning the pages.”
– Booklist

“Propulsive and gripping, The Once and Future Me grabs you from the first page and doesn’t let go until the very last. A fast-paced, heart-pounding thrill of a book!”
– Sophie Stava, author of Count My Lies

Taste the very first page

My first breaths come guttural and convulsive, like those of a drowning victim finally breaking the surface. But what surface?

Where am I?

The air feels steamy, ripe with the sour tang of damp woolens, diesel, and Naugahyde. I’m definitely in a vehicle. Can feel a rumbling, a sickening sense of motion—and a jagged, ringing pain between my ears, like someone’s wedged a piece of flint deep inside my brain. I want so badly to escape it, to slide back down into the dark and its painless sleep.

But then I hear her. The voice in my head. She’s vigilant and pushy. Issuing her orders like some surly fairy godmother:

Eyes open, this is not the time for sleep.

You’ve got things to do. Important things.

Such as? But like me, the voice appears to have no answers. Just that vague things-to-do edict she won’t stop repeating.

So I open my eyes—

But all I see is a roiling blur of color and shadow, bobbing and weaving across my field of vision. I try to will just a piece of this dizzying sideshow into focus, the swirling mass of red, blue, and green inches from my face, concentrate till at last the image comes clear:

My plaid dress peeking out from under my winter coat.

My sluggish eyes drift slowly across it till they come to my red purse, the one with the shiny gold clasp shaped like a clamshell.

August 2025